A Plight Without End: Neil Para pens family’s story of fortitude and hope

Rural Australian’s for Refugees national committee member Kat Vella, interviews refugee activist and campaigner, Neil Para about his newly released e-book Smiles for Masks.

Neil Para (front) with his family Nivash Neil, Kartie Neil, Sugaa Neil and Nive Neil (L-R)

Excerpt:

“On the 9th of August, 2012, a fishing boat had been brought by the ADF Navy to Christmas Island with refugees who were desperately seeking protection in Australia. There were over 200 people on the boat including children, women, and men from Sri Lanka, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan. We were four of them.”

Neil, could you tell me why you wanted to write your story?

There are many stigmas over refugees and asylum seekers. It is important to let people know our positive stories when we (refugees) need help. My family has a great story, so I wrote this to tell them and to ask my friends to show their support for my family by writing a letter to Mr Andrew Giles MP. 

Why was it important for you to share your story with more people? 

It is important because my family is one of the many refugees and asylum seekers who integrated into Australian society and started to feel at home in BallaArat (for us). It is also important to tell everyone who wants to hear lived experiences, so people and supporters will understand how we are tormented by some politicians and some refugee advocating or supporting organisations. As we need refugee voices to change the policy, we need refugee voices to tell people anything and everything so we can see better changes in at least who helps us. It will also help them to change their view of how they hurt us.

What would you like more people to know and understand about the reality for refugees and asylum seekers in Australia? 

Absolutely a great question. Before I answer the question, I would like to say a few things. In my opinion, there are three types of behaviour from people in Australia when it comes to the matter of refugees: 

1. Welcome and supportive. 

2. Never mind. 

3. Not welcoming of refugees.

As a refugee, I wouldn't think about number one. They are our great supporters regardless of what we do/don't do in Australia. My advocacy is more about number two and a little bit for number three. The number twos are watching and listening, they want to hear good stories about us. Many of them don't want to know why and how we came to Australia. They only want to know what we do to contribute to the country. It is normal for many of us to expect a stranger to give more and take less, and this is the condition on which they welcome strangers. The number three types are a bit stubborn. However, if you ask me if you can squeeze blood from a stone, my reply would be a yes.

Coming to your question, please don't hurt us, we are humans, and we are friends of your friends. If you make us worry, you are making your friends upset. If your friend is friends with us or supports us, it means your friend sees something in common, something shared with us, which we hope you can see too. I would like to see all people who are welcoming, supportive and opening their arms to welcome us, to share our stories with their friends. I only tend to see people share refugee stories with those who welcome refugees and I think they aren’t necessarily the people who need to hear our stories. Please share with all your friends.

How has the experience of seeking asylum in Australia impacted you and your family?

It is a hard question to answer because many people don't want to hear it. Governments and politicians keep saying go back where you came from. However, when a prominent refugee advocacy service in Australia told us to go back to where we came from and that Sri Lanka was ok for us to return, that traumatised us, it still sits in our hearts and torments us all the time. One day, I stopped to ask for an address, while out driving. The man I asked said “Go back where you came from”. When he said those words, I got upset.

Since moving to Ballarat you have become involved in advocating for refugees and people seeking asylum. What made you want to speak out and support more people like you?

Our wonderful friend, the late Kath Morton (BallaArat RAR Convenor) told me many times that I should help refugees, homeless people, and poor people also, even though I am a refugee, in my heart, mind, and soul I am an Australian. Australians help others. Therefore, I am doing a small part with the support from my Australian friends. I moved to Ballaarat without knowing English. My family wasn't given the opportunity to learn English. However, I have a great friend who has mentored me, and I have a lot of opportunity to speak with my friends, which has helped improve my English in order to do this work.

Excerpt:

“One of the friends of my mum, a student of my grandfather Jeyaseelan, had suggested Ballaarat. We looked on Google and liked it. After a couple of days, we came to see what Ballaarat looked like. We used to travel by public transport. Sugaa and I were from a village in Sri Lanka; we don’t like city life. As soon we arrived, we started to love its look and the buildings without knowing that Ballaarat was going to be our  home. People were smiling at us and made us feel welcome.”

What has been the most difficult part of writing your story? 

Of course, it was the language. Many friends wanted to help me to correct it, however, I wanted to do it in my level of English. That would be a message too for many readers in showing how far I had come on my journey to become an Australian Citizen. Two of my friends helped a little bit with some typos/grammar, and putting them together as chapters.

What has been the most fulfilling part of writing your story?

My family is in BallaArat, surrounded by amazing friends who trust us, support us, listen to us, and believe in us. 

What would you like to see happen for your future in Australia and for the future of other refugees in Australia?

I want to become a police officer, my wife Sugaa wants to work in the aged care sector, and my children have goals unchanged since they were at year 2 and 3 levels. Nivash wants to be a cardiac surgeon, Kartie wants to become a psychologist, she also wants to be a rock star in her leisure time, and Nive wants to become a lawyer, she said she wants to help refugees.

For the future of others, I understand the ASIO checks, health checks, criminal checks etc. But most of our health becomes worse because of the stress and depression through the whole process. However, I would like to see all refugees and asylum seekers desperately waiting many many years to call Australia home processed as quickly as possible so they can pursue their goals.

I also want the government to reconsider its approach to workers mostly brought from Fiji to be treated as Australian workers, not like slaves.

To learn more about Neil and the work he is involved with, you can contact him on Facebook or message RAR National.

You can download a copy of his e-book below.